I was a little absent yesterday. Hey, I’m allowed to take sick days every now and then, right?

(My tattoo is itching so bad right now. WHERE IS MY CHEESE GRATER?)

Can we take a second and talk about beauty products? Anybody that doesn’t have a vagina is free to leave at this point since I can pretty much guarantee you guys don’t use actual face wash, let alone the plethora of creams and lotions and miracle-workers that we women adore. (Even my husband, who lives with a product-obsessed woman, considers it perfectly acceptable to occasionally wash his face with bar soap — and that’s it.)

Anyway, I recently ran out of my expensive little Dr. Brandt poreless kit. It was an awesome set and I squeezed out the very last drop of each product. However, it’s a very bad idea to get hooked on products that cost $55 each so I’ve been trying to figure out an alternative. (For the record, I’ve been using regular old Noxzema in the meantime. Oh, high school, how I miss thee!) High end skincare is worth it but, honestly, I kind of have bills to pay and I don’t think the power company cares that I could possibly break out into a rash of pimples so bad, I may be cast in a remake of “Acne” so I had to spend my utility money on moisturizer.

Look, people, I paid $7.50 for Clean & Clear in Grand Cayman while on my honeymoon, okay? I was desperate! My skin hates me! And it hates when I can’t pamper it with expensive products!

However, I’m also pretty cheap and a total bargain hunter. I absolutely will not buy something if I think there’s even a chance I could get it cheaper elsewhere. Even if it means giving up that immediate satisfaction.  (Being on vacation is an exception because, seriously, there was no other drugstore anywhere near the port.  Just a guy selling nail clippers for $5 and Clean & Clear for $7.50.)

That said, I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about Cetaphil. It’s gentle, it’s effective, blah blah blah. Except it’s also, like, $12 a bottle and, the last time I actually bothered to look into Cetaphil, that was a lot of money to spend on something like that. (My, how times have changed.) Now that I’m making more than $6.50 an hour, I don’t mind spending that kind of money but only if I know that it won’t be a total waste.  (But how do you know if it’s a waste if you don’t try it? Nice logic!)
So I drag my husband to the grocery store under the pretense of needing something for dinner and I spend about ten minutes down the beauty care aisle, hemming and hawing. I’m famous for this. This is how my shopping trips — when I’m by myself, anyway — can last anywhere from four to five hours and I’ll maybe hit up three stores if I’m lucky. I try to be, uh, more considerate when I have men in tow because, frankly, they’re annoying when they’re bored. (Love you, honey!)

There I am, staring at this $12 face wash, trying to convince myself to reach out, pick it up, and dump it into our basket before I can change my mind when I shift about two inches to the left and spot a store brand bottle for only $3.99. Seriously?!?

Now, let me share a little secret with you that I picked up while slaving away as a cashier in a really tacky uniform: most generic brand products are actually made by the same factory and companies that produce the name brand stuff. It’s just stripped down and, well, generic. So I happily buy store brand stuff. Well, from Publix anyway; I don’t know about those weirdo stores like Piggly Wiggly and Kroger since we don’t have those fancy places in my parts of Florida.

(Apparently, Cetaphil’s company, Galderma, doesn’t manufacture the generic themselves so the generic brands tend to vary; however, Publix is pretty thorough in creating quality duplicates so I’m happy with this. Some people have reported various generics suck hardcore so be warned.)

So really, this big long rambling post was to tell you that I bought an awesome face wash for 1/3 of its actual price — although I had to get the SPF moisturizer at full price since there’s sadly no generic version — and it works really well. Rock on, Cetaphil “Gentle Facial Cleanser Comparable to Cetaphil®”!

(Aren’t you glad you read all that?)

Filed under: beauty