A Moment of Silence

My heart goes out to the friends and families of the victims at Fort Hood.
I have so much to say on this, thoughts and feelings, but, for now, none of that matters.
(If you’re somehow unaware of what happened yesterday, check your preferred media outlet for news on Fort Hood, Texas.)

Whorelando, the Happiest Place on Earth

Dear Orlando:
Please get an STD check.  Otherwise, we can’t make out anymore:
It’s 2008. Do you know what potential dangers your child faces?
If you live in Orange County, it could be sexually transmitted diseases, which have jumped far above the state average. In Seminole County, it could be underage drinking among middle- and high-school students.
In Lake, [...]

“A wise teacher makes learning a joy.”

For the first time in 21 years, a national strike left thousands of schools closed in Britain as teachers combined Thursday with other middle class workers to vent their anger at pay deals that are not keeping up with the soaring cost of living. (source)
Reading that makes me wonder if our own American teachers are [...]

“It is a public scandal that offends; to sin in secret is no sin at all.”

The definition of “public scandal” has become incredibly skewed.
Eliot Spitzer, the governor of New York, is resigning amidst the scandal of having been “involved” in a prostitution ring. It brings to mind all the past scandals; Miss USA Tara Conner, for example, or sweet little Vanessa Hudgens‘ less-than-innocent photos. And, of course, the ever [...]

“We are excited by egalitarianism and anonymity, but we constantly fight for our identity.”

Dear Lungs and Throat:
I hate you.
Love,
Me
I woke up at 4am — for the second night in a row — to a simple cough. That’s it. And then it didn’t stop. I kept coughing and coughing and coughing, the kind of cough that comes from deep within your lungs and burns your throat [...]

“these hips are magic hips.”

Oh, I do love the news!
According to researchers — you know, the generic pool of all people who research things:
Women with curvy figures are likely to be brighter than waif-like counterparts and may well produce more intelligent offspring, a US study suggests.
Researchers studied 16,000 women and girls and found the more voluptuous performed better [...]

“Let’s end this fucking strike for the strippers, okay?”

As if buying a frozen pizza and having it recalled days later wasn’t bad enough, I just heard that Marc Cherry, the produce of “Desperate Housewives,” is shutting down the show to support the writer’s strike. I have spent the better part of the last four or five weeks catching up on all three [...]

The One Where Pizza Bagels Save My Life

In our infinite quest for convenience and easiness, fueled by our supreme laziness and the fact that we live far, far away from the “main” part of town, we have started shopping at the Wal-Mart grocery store at the entrance to our residential community. Mind you, this is no regular Wal-Mart, chock full of [...]

“We should really love each other in peace and harmony, instead we’re fussin’ n fighting like we ain’t supposed to be.”

Jezebel, a celebrity-fashion-all things woman website, wrote an article yesterday with a pretty attention-getting title: Maxim, Entertainment Weekly Agree: Jews, Blacks, Asians Not So “Sexy”
I know, right?
Anyway, they point out that the top two unsexiest women according to Maxim magazine, Sarah Jessica Parker and Amy Winehouse, are both Jewish; naturally, this must be some type [...]

“Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.”

I’m having one of those days where my eyes keep crossing in a desperate attempt to close and drift off and go to sleep…
I’M AWAKE. Wait, what? Where am I?
It’s rainy and miserable outside and I’m sitting here at work trying to burn through the haze of having overslept. I jumped out of [...]