The past few weeks, I have become obsessed with needlework.

I made the mistake of joining craftster.org, a mecca for virtually every type of crafter in existence.  Whether you sew, paint, glue, repurpose, cook or whathaveyou, there’s guaranteed to be something for you there. While stumbling through the many, many forums and ogling the creations of some very talented folks, I came across a forum dedicated to Sublime Stitching. Curious, I found the website and immediately fell in love with Jenny Hart’s patterns.

So much so that I even put her first book, Sublime Stitching, on my birthday wishlist. (With plans to buy her second book, Embroidered Effects.)

Of course, Saturday evening, I was excited to get supplies so I headed off to Jo-Ann’s, a birthday gift card in hand.  I started out with a medium-sized sewing box with a plastic tray organizer inside and a pocket and pin cushion on the inner lid; I also wound up buying embroidery scissors (an even cheaper Jo-Ann’s version of the Acme Stork Scissors), a variety pack of needles, a magnetic needle case, a bigger plastic hoop, some more plastic floss bobbins (and I highly recommend a floss winder to make life a bit easier), an embroidery pen (the ink is water soluble and washes out so you can draw your own designs on fabric), some cotton fabric from their discount bin and some floss for my current project.

I’m ready for some embroidery!

Except my current project – to be revealed later on, when it doesn’t look like such a blob – is going to require a bit of work so my foray into embroidery has been temporarily delayed. But that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped scouring Craftster, getting ideas and bookmarking my favorite projects (like this one and this one and that one and this one and that one). I’m itching to get started but I think I need to focus on one thing at a time. Until then, I stare at my Sublime Stitching book wistfully.

So, any guesses as to what my next project could be? Mwahahahaha.

(And my household is strictly banned from revealing my secrets!)

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If a woman were to be elected President, what would her husband be called?

“First Gentleman” sounds weird.

“First Man” sounds biblical.

So what the hell?

Of course, were that to ever happened, I’m sure taxpayer dollars would go towards funding a 200+ person committee to answer this very question.

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It doesn’t take much to be called a filmmaker, it seems!

Actual Horror Movies Seen on Netflix:

(Not all trailers are safe-for-work so watch at your own risk.)

• Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank: When a group of well-meaning archaeology students unearth an ancient jewel box in Southern California’s Burbank mountains, they unleash a deadly curse that turns perfectly normal women into maniacal, bloodthirsty cannibals. Written and directed by Kirk Bowman, this hilariously campy horror flick — purportedly based on a true story, if you can believe it — will have you laughing one minute and screaming the next. (Trailer)
• ThanksKilling: While on their way home for Thanksgiving break, five college kids run afoul of a homicidal turkey that wants them dead. As the cursed bird hunts them down one by one, the survivors scramble to find a way to defeat the possessed creature. Will the bloodthirsty turkey make this their last Thanksgiving feast ever? Writer-director Jordan Downey’s holiday-themed horror spoof features an appearance by adult-film star Wanda Lust. (Trailer)
• Dorm of the Dead: Clare (Jackey Hall) and Julie (Andrea Ownbey), the two snootiest girls at Arkham University, are nursing a grudge against goth rivals Sarah (Ciara Richards) and Allison (Adrianna Eder) when a strange accident triggers a zombie invasion, with Clare plotting to make Sarah the next victim. But the girls are all forced to run for their lives as the walking dead overrun the campus looking for their next meal (Trailer)
• Monsturd: Serial killer Jack Schmidt (Brad Dosland) is a fugitive who has the police and FBI hot on his trail. After being cornered and wounded by law enforcement authorities, he falls into a sewage tunnel where the chemical company Dutech has also been dumping its toxic waste. The poisonous mixture of feces and chemicals mysteriously transforms Jack into a part-human, part-feces monster who sets out on a deadly rampage. (Trailer)
• Blood Moon Rising: Adult-film legend Ron Jeremy headlines this horror flick about an army of evil beings who rise from hell at the behest of the devil’s daughter, Lucy. Now, the fate of the world rests in the hands of Lucy’s hippie great-great-granddaughter, Sadie. With comic-book geek Darrell (Neal Trout) by her side, Sadie battles zombies, vampires and other creepy creatures. Laurie Love does double duty playing Lucy and Sadie. (Trailer)
• Platoon of the Dead: After narrowly escaping a terrifying zombie attack, three Marines retreat to a remote house, where they meet several mysterious women. When legions of undead descend upon their safe haven, the soldiers bravely battle to survive the vicious onslaught. But little do they know that making it through the night alive is only the beginning of this war. Ariauna Albright, Tom Stedham and Chris Keown star in this gory horror flick. (Trailer)
• Black Sheep: On a quiet New Zealand ranch, a genetic experiment has gone horribly wrong, transforming a docile flock of sheep into killers hungry for human blood. Those they bite become ravenous were-sheep. As the body count rises, a desperate handful of outnumbered survivors take a last stand against the ovine onslaught. Who will live, and who will be the next victim of the vicious killer sheep? (Trailer)

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The last two weeks have kicked my ass something fierce.

Two weeks ago today, we made the difficult decision to take Bartleby the Rat to the vet one final time. He had stopped eating over the weekend, which is a sure sign, and his movements were becoming slow and clumsy. It was hard, harder than most people would probably believe, because he had become a family member to us, much like a “regular” pet. But it was no longer about us and what we wanted.

The following night, I developed a really, really bad toothache and resigned myself to calling a dentist in the morning.

Except I never got around to it. On a whim, I called my dad to see when he would be visiting; he and my stepmom had made plans to install crown molding in our house as a birthday gift. Instead, I found out he was in the waiting room at a hospital. My stepmom had gone to the emergency room because she wasn’t feeling well and, not even ten minutes after arriving, had a massive seizure.  After much worrying and waiting, the doctors told us she had two small lesions on her brain.

Long story short, she’s in perfect health otherwise with no signs of cancer anywhere else in her body so they’re removing the larger tumor today since it’s on the surface; the smaller one will be controlled by medication, as it’s too deep to remove and not really interfering with her health.

And through it all, I was reminded of how important friends and family truly are.

In the week since then, I’ve tried to capture the sense of togetherness, the banding together, the total sense of family that was there but I can’t do it. I can’t find the words to properly express it. But I am thankful that I have a wonderful family of my own, both my side and my husband’s, to care about me.

It was a hard week and I don’t know how I’d have gotten through it without my husband, who took Bartleby to the vet because I needed to get through my workday, who dropped everything and drove down with me to be with my dad and stepmom, who just worried with me and hugged me when I needed it. The love and kind thoughts from friends (both online and off) was humbling, although I already knew they’re all good people.

So, there isn’t really much else I can say except thank you, for everything you’ve done, are doing and will ever do.

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I feel like I should be cleaning up this place a bit, stuffing stray underwear under the couch and tucking dust bunnies under the rug.

My Wil Wheaton/Diesel Sweeties cross stitch seems to have garnered a bit of attention, primarily thanks to Twitter, and suddenly, there are people! Looking at my barely-updated website! Commenting! And it’s admittedly pretty cool.

So cool, in fact, that I might just stitch up another WW/DS and send it to Mr. Wheaton himself. I mean, if I stick it in an envelope with his name, surely the postal system will know where to send it, right? How many Wil Wheatons can there be in the world? I want to put something together for DS too as a huge thanks for being awesome and not cutting my tires for using their art for my own domestic purposes.

Plus, I really like cross-stitching.

If you think my little project is interesting, you should see what’s being done by people far more talented and original than me. I somehow stumbled across cross_stitch_ninja’s Flickr account and fell in love with the Space Invaders needlepoint; oh, and the truly epic Mario map. Then I found this super terrific Ms. Pacman cross-stitch. From there, the ideas started flying and, when the dust settled, I found myself staring at the DS portrait of Wil Wheaton. I ran it through PCStitch, spent far too much time tweaking it and came out with my final pattern.

Two other geek craft blogs to check out: Sprite Stitch and geekcrafts.

So, anyway, I think my next cross-stitching project will be… wait for it… the four characters from Gauntlet! I came across this article from boingboing and put the image through PCStitch. It’s going to be kind of big and incredibly time-consuming but I’m super excited! My fingers will be bleeding and I’m sure I’ll be cross-eyed from staring at the fabric but dammit, I will have a Gauntlet cross-stitch!

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On a whim — as most things in my life tend to start — I decided to embark on a mini arts & crafts project, a cute little cross-stitch that would make me smile.

And so I present to you:

Some of you may automatically start giggling.

For those who did not, that, my friends, is Wil Wheaton, as illustrated by Diesel Sweeties, wearing the infamous clown sweater, done entirely in cross-stitch by me.

Yes. This is truly how I choose to spend my free time.

I’m debating on adding any text to the final piece, maybe dropping a hint as to who it is — although I like the geeks-only mystery — or maybe the “WWdN: In Exile” header of his blog. Or maybe I’ll just leave it the way it is, a simple colorful tribute to a moment that stands entirely on its own.

I have far more ambitious geek-themed cross-stitch projects planned for the future, except they’re massive undertakings and will probably be finished around the time I’m 90 years old and they’re no longer relevant.

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I wish I could say the last week was spent in some exotic locale, sipping a fruity drink garnished with an umbrella and soaking on some much-needed sun, but sadly, I was tied up in Corporate Hell.

The company I work for utilizes the Six Sigma program. Basically, it’s a means of fixing a problem, preferably one that will save the company money, through a project, using the tools within the Six Sigma scope. The example I was given while doing some online training was a lunch project; some overly bored employee noticed that her company was spending a lot of money on catering for meetings. She ran some metrics and statistics, came up with some solutions and ultimately created lunch tickets for meeting attendees to take to the company’s cafeteria, saving the company a ridiculous amount of money.

You, the dutiful employee, are working hard to save the company money with no real bonus to you beyond the satisfaction of having completed a Six Sigma project.

Okay, I’m sure there’s more to it but forgive me; I’ve only just survived the aftermath of a project that has dragged on since November. The bitterness has not had time to dissipate.

In a world of bureaucracies within bureaucracies and political games afoot, Six Sigma projects easily become a conduit for ulterior motives and power plays. My project was to define a process that was key to our business, creating a particular document that is an important part of the system. It soon became directionless and ambiguous, the lack of a leader letting it drift for two months before someone finally realized, “Oh shit, we need to get a proposal for improvement to the top guys!” The final product was rushed and heavy with controversy. I attended meeting after meeting after endless meeting, reminding myself that it was almost over.

As part of the qualification for a Six Sigma Specialist, I had to present at least one slide in our final presentation. To the top guys of the company. About a project I no longer cared about. All last week was spent rehearsing, both with the group and by myself, worrying, fretting and creating one ulcer after another. Fortunately, it went smoothly, although no official decision was made about our proposed solution. And I ordered my certificate and free polo shirt that afternoon; surprisingly, it doesn’t say, “I completed a Six Sigma project and all I got was this stupid shirt.”

Anyway, the whole process was a huge turn-off to the Six Sigma thing. I spent countless hours in meetings, falling behind in my actual work, and getting a nasty taste of office politics. There was bickering, defensiveness and even some flat-out refusal to see the whole picture of the process.  My job allows me to remain somewhat isolated from a lot of the drama so the project was a crash course in… well, everything: adult groupwork, life within a big company, inter-department interaction, that kind of thing.

Plus, the whole idea that I’m supposed to be improving the company in my spare time at work seems kind of absurd, mostly because I don’t have a lot of spare time at work and the project wound up consuming most of my day. I more than once pointed out the irony that an efficiency project was putting me behind…

And the worst part is, I see more Six Sigma projects in my future. It’s actually a goal to have two or three projects going on at any given time. We’re supposed to be constantly on the look-out for money-saving solutions, bettering the company we work for simply for the pleasure of doing it, and dedicating the time and resources out of our day to support it. Apparently none of us have any actual work to be doing.

So tell me – do you have any particular annoyances about work? (If you have a job, I think that’s a given.)

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• Today’s shirt.woot, “Jurassic Parka,” my first official shirt.woot purchase. (Teefury.com is also a great site.)
• The classic Kit-Cat Clock, complete with swinging tail. I need one for my house.
• Armelle’s blog. I discovered her after being linked to her post about making your own cake stand.  Her site is much, much more than just a DIY crafting site; she features recipes, design inspiration, jewelry, and other relevant links from around the ‘Net. Her blog has become one of my favorite Happy Places.
• Mama Eun’s Korean BBQ. Fresh bulgogi, galbi and kimchi delivered to your door. Need I say more?
• This firefly pendant lamp from CB2. I hate hate hate our dining room light fixture with a passion; it came with the house and it’s way too bright and way too hot.  I love the look of this fixture, how clean and simple and even a bit old timey it is. With a dimmer switch, I think this would be perfect.
• Ke$ha. I was so stoked when she announced her album deal awhile back and it’s finally out! I will be getting it from iTunes later tonight, thank you. (And yes, I’m paying for it because I think she’s that awesome.)
• Netflix. Seriously, still loving it. Okay, so I suck at the whole “returning DVDs” thing but the instant streaming is the best thing, especially now that we have a TV in our bedroom! I love the XBOX 360 tie-in. I was able to stream (in HD no less!) most of our Christmas movies for our Christmas Movie Night and have gotten caught up on a plethora of shows like “30 Rock” and “Party Down.”
• reddit.com – “what’s new online!” The source of many a funny photo or link.

And to you, my dear readers, I ask: anything new or recent to share?

Filed under: things i like | 14173 Commentshttp://www.steenface.com/?p=1417Things+I+Am+Loving2010-01-07+17%3A23%3A28steenface

Things For 2010

• A shiny new fridge! (Preferably one that qualifies for the tax rebate.) When we bought our house, it had the same fridge that our previous rental had. The fridge in the rental needed repairs within the first few months, except it was never fixed because the leasing agency was all, “Hey, it works, right?” Except it didn’t dispense ice and the motherboard was somehow fried so you couldn’t adjust any of the settings. You see where this is going… sure enough, less than a week into our new house and the ice maker doesn’t work at all and the motherboard is fried. I hate the fridge anyway so I plan on upgrading to a fancy pants French door style with ice/water dispenser and nifty LED lights inside. This will hopefully be purchased in the next couple of months.
• More house stuff. Our walls are seriously bare and I need to work on collecting things to put up.
• Actually going to the gym we’re paying for. I’m failing miserably at this so far but this goal is such a cliche anyway. I have fitness goals and dammit, I need to make the effort!
• Vegas with friends. Package vacations are affordable and it’ll be a nice little treat towards the end of the year.
• Continue exploring Orlando. Over the past year, I’ve come to really love this city as we do things: try new restaurants (like the tasty Korean place, mmm!), find new bars, hit up downtown for a night of fun, go to an Orlando Magic game, and attend local events. I’m truly in the prime of my life with a steady job, a close relationship with my parents, and an awesome husband and wonderful friends, the perfect recipe for having a great time!
• Wardrobe, wardrobe, wardrobe. I’m constantly trying to define my style (GRANNY-IN-DISGUISE) and updating my closet, bit by bit. This year will be all about getting rid of the old and bringing in pieces that are more versatile for work and play, as well as accepting that there are certain things I will never be able to wear again. Or at least not in the near future.
• Be healthier. Although something tells me that donut holes for breakfast and reheated pizza for lunch isn’t a good path to that… maybe I should say, “Make more of an effort to be healthier.” Homecooked meals with a healthy but tasty spin. Yes.
• Speaking of — cooking more. I am obsessed with the Food Network and am always envious of how easy it seems. Yet it takes me a good 20 minutes just to cut up a vegetable. So, more practice in the kitchen, more of an effort, maybe trying to find my inner chef. Both of my parents have a knack for cooking that they never quite managed to pass on to me. (To be fair, my dad’s mostly a grill master, even though he was the one who showed me how to bake my first cake. Out of a box but whatever.) A lot of folks seem to already be on board
• Two words: RE. LAX. I tend to get super uptight and impatient about some things and I seriously need to chill out. There are things beyond my control and I can only do so much.

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